Kerala is Now Keralam: Because Who Needs Roads When You Have an Extra 'M'?

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We woke up to the earth-shattering, sky-splitting news: "Kerala is now Keralam." I grabbed my phone and dialled my Mallu friend: "Suhruthe, njangal cheythu!" (Friend, we "M"ade it!). 

Ah yes, because nothing screams progress like tweaking a vowel or a consonant in a state, City or a road name while potholes swallow entire motorcycles, cars or even busses.

Our elected geniuses—funded by our hard-earned taxes—spent their invaluable time on this national priority. Hope that as Karnataka's Kannadigas got Kannad; pray Keralam doesn't spiral into "Malayal" next.

This renaming spree is peaking in India. We've rebranded everything from cities to shrubs:

  • Calcutta → Kolkata (Good luck, foreigners—it's "Coal-ka-ta" now, apparently.)
  • Bombay → Mumbai (From Bollywood glamour to... fishing-village vibes?)
  • Our beloved Bangalore → Namma Bengaluru (Namma? More like "Namma traffic nightmares.")

Cities? Check. Gardens? Done. Islands, stations, paths—nothing's safe:

Old Name

New Name

Location

Why? (Allegedly)

Port Blair

Shri Vijayapuram

Andaman & Nicobar

Ditch the British ghost.

Aurangabad

Chhatrapati Sambhaji Nagar

Maharashtra

Mughal allergy in full swing.

Osmanabad

Dharashiv

Maharashtra

More Mughal purge.

Ahmednagar

Ahilya Nagar

Maharashtra

Queen power-up.

Karimganj

Sribhumi

Assam

Poetic patriotism.

Aurangzebpur → Shivaji Nagar

Uttarakhand

History remix.

Allahabad

Prayagraj

Uttar Pradesh

Back to ancient glory.

Gurgaon

Gurugram

Haryana

Corporate cowboys approve.

Hoshangabad

Narmadapuram

Madhya Pradesh

River reverence.

Babai

Makhan Nagar

Madhya Pradesh

Butter? Really?

Nagar Untari

Shri Banshidhar Nagar

Jharkhand

Divine intervention.

Rajahmundry

Rajamahendravaram

Andhra Pradesh

Mouthful achieved.

New Raipur

Atal Nagar

Chhattisgarh

Leader legacy.

Faizabad

Ayodhya

Uttar Pradesh

Ram Rajya reboot.

Mughalsarai RS

Pandit Deen Dayal Upadhyaya Junction

Uttar Pradesh

Junction jargon.

Rajpath

Kartavya Path

Delhi

Duty calls... eventually.

Mughal Gardens

Amrit Udyan

Delhi

Mughal-free flowers.

Proposals brewing: Ahmedabad to Karnavati, Aligarh to Harigarh. Next up: Rename "taxes" to "tribute to renaming committees"?

Patriotism or Convenience?

I'm all for ditching colonial stains—Port Blair to Shri Vijayapuram? Fair play.

Hyper-local heroes get the nod—Chhatrapati this, Ahilya that—Pick what suits the vote bank.

Oh, and Bengaluru angle? As a proud resident dodging "Namma" potholes on my bike, I chuckle. We've got Kannada pride, but our roads still mimic moon craters. Rename all you want; my Royal Enfield and Ultraviolette motorbikes begs for asphalt, not acronyms.

The Real Gimmick Game

These aren't fixes; they're distractions wrapped in patriotism. While netas play name-tag, our basics crumble: Roads that double as adventure sports Off-road paths, power cuts mid-AI start up pitch (shoutout to my tech dreamers), water wars in slums, schools without teachers, hospitals playing musical chairs with beds. Patriotism? Sure—until your neighbour uncle twists an ankle on a "heritage" footpath.

Economic irony? Billions are funnelled into signboards while start-ups flee Bengaluru for cheaper skies. FDI leaves the country for better shores. Employment? Youth scroll UPI for gigs instead of building Dr Kalam's PURA (Providing Urban Infrastructure in Rural areas” vision or Deendayal's Antyodaya. Try explaining "Chhatrapati Sambhaji Nagar" to a Silicon Valley investor—watch their eyes glaze like bad filter coffee or idli served with spoilt chutney

Blame the masses too—they lap up this pseudo-pride, voting for rename-rockstars over Nation-building. Wake up, folks: Nicknames don't fill stomachs or provide real employment.

A Hopeful Horizon

We don't want—like "Unemployment nagar" to "Start-up pura," or "Pothole Paradise" to "Pavement Pradesh."

We should demand netas to deliver walkable streets, powered homes, skilled jobs, and tech hubs that make us world-beaters. We've got the talent—Kannada or Kerala coders (Or any part of India). Let's rename our future: From gimmicks to greatness. One solid policy at a time, India (or Bharath?) could shine brighter than any new nameplate.

Comments

  1. Doreswamy Srinidhi25 February 2026 at 10:15

    We are 'ever forgiving set of people'.

    ReplyDelete

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